Fighting & Fears...

Much has happened in a short time. Things are beginning to pick up in several areas. The Kingdom Ball is apparently planned for next week, though we have yet to hear just when or if high fashion is indeed required. In the Main keep, O. and I have found entertainment and I am waiting with amusement for the trainee auction. On the down side, as always somebody has to say something stupid. Personally, I say he should not be allowed to bid at all. No telling what sort of things he might do to one of the poor innocents. As for me, I absolutely must join in the bidding! *lol* Finally, in the tavern of VADA four vamps with a mind for mischief have gathered...

However, battle takes precedence over all other matters. At this moment, the Asylum is at a heightened state of preparation. I have already received orders to have my troop of Bobs in place and prepared to fire on the attacking mob. In these last calm moments before we are called to fight, I can only hope the planning and leadership of my companion coupled with my own defense strategy may bring us all through this.

At the moment I find myself facing a task harder than that of fletching arrows, or even fighting an enemy. As difficult as it may be, I am forced to view Oneirus not as my companion, but simply as our leader. If I allow myself to see him as more... Were it left to me he would be resting somewhere, healing. Oneirus has already endured so much-- the few wounds he allowed me to care for were terrible enough-- but I fear there are far worse ones. All signs point to internal injuries. I have seen him growing ever more weary, unsteady on his feet, weakened by loss of blood to the point of collapse, but he refuses to allow me to see more. And in the end I know it is for the best.

We cannot allow our own unlives or problems to get in the way of duty. In joining this clan we swore to die for it if need be. The Asylum is an extension of that vow, our first and most treasured home, and now we must defend it... even to the end, should it come.

No-- it will not. I cannot. We have worked far too hard, put too much into this defense to have it fail now. I must look beyond this moment to the next battle, to the day when we will face down the last of these vermin and put them in their place. My companion-- no, our general-- fears that this will indeed be our last stand. I do not. There is a way out of this and the keep will stand.

At this stage I have very little concern for the trainees themselves. Those who are willing and battle-ready must each fight their own battle. I am placing LJ where it is safe, and any trainee who chooses cowardice over valor has an escape, though that is far more than they deserve. I have no fear for myself; I am as well-equipt for the battle as I know how to be. My main fear-- my only true fear-- is for Oneirus. When last we spoke his words chilled me. Yet... the fact that I could only acknowledge them and agree to the very last thing I would ever want to do...