Keeping Vigil

Yes for the record, this was actually written on this date, but posted later. Just kept forgetting and never felt it was "finished" but decided I don't care anyway-- blame the human!


Why can't all my banking trips be like that? Not that it was all done in one go, mind you. I just lucked up and found myself in a quiet corner where nobody banks-- but nobody had sense enough to rob me while I sat all night waiting for AP. Some has been in my pockets for more than a day, some was picked up on my way to the bank this morning. Yes, I confess-- laugh if you will, Oneirus-- I am still a sucker for humans. No matter how well I plan things, unless I'm on a serious mission, the mere sight of them drives me to stray. The flesh is weak and the fangs are willing!

Of course, this does have it's up side. During the course of my Locate 1 quest, rather than losing 40BP I actually gained more than 200. I sort of have this "vamps are for robbing, people are for biting" thing going and so far it seems to work.

The battle for the Asylum is won, though the fighting continues in some quarters. It was my duty to fight and I fought hard... but now it is for the trainees to set their home to rights. And it is my duty to stand by Oneirus. Here, behind locked doors, he fights for his very life.

As I sit once more beside my wounded companion, I find I have nothing but time on my hands. Time to remember, time to think, time to turn my gaze inward. It is hard to find words to express my true feelings sometimes. However, I think... that my most recent contributions to this adventure have done it. I really do think a great deal of Oneirus, and I think it shows.

After reading my his thoughts on possibly leaving, I found myself wondering about why I have stayed so long. Things are not always as I would wish them, or anywhere close at times. I have made friends, made enemies, felt the sting of HW and most importantly, found my niche. I was made welcome here when they could have turned their backs on me, something I will always remember. That is why I remain-- this is my place, for as long as it fits me. I may not approve of all that happens within the clan and will always have my questions and concerns, but it is the best fit I have found in this crazy, volatile city and the one place I have actually felt wanted and cared for. Sort of a strange thing when you consider our nature.

We are vampires. But what does that mean? What is our nature? In these peaceable gatherings and warm bonds do we deny the very essence of ourselves, grasping for some missing thread of humanity?