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Oneirus, sometimes I completely and totally fail to understand you. Apparently something or maybe everything I wrote struck you the wrong way.

"If you and the others would like to progress forward, I will not object. I wish you the best of luck in your efforts."

Is that you saying... that you're done? Or am I as usual lost and confused? In case you're wondering, my comment about you killing me over the RP was a joke. As you surely are aware, you've been doing an awesome job with the storyline. Frankly, don't think anybody else could match it.

I'm generally open to discussion, as you of all people surely know. I'm not saying last night was volatile. Now the last big thing with the Order (look, it's capitalized... this once) was, at least for me. Last night just got weird for a bit, but ended on a funny note, or so I thought. Tonight... this rather unexpected comment on my blog.

You're the one forever telling me not to be so nice. That's really all I meant. Just a less nice version of myself, like I said the other day. Trying to lose the "mother hen" thing. Other than that, I'm myself. Yeah, there are days when I'm not totally sure who that is, but I'm developing, or trying to. What can I say-- I'm not you. I don't have this wonderful persona all worked out and complete with accessories. I try new things, some work, some don't. Then again, would you want me to be a carbon copy of anyone else? No, I'm not much like you. I'm sensitive for one thing. Yeah, the shame of it all, a sensitive vamp. But it's part of who I am. Maybe that's why I try to smooth your edges a tiny bit-- because I can empathize with the vamps on the receiving end of your words.

Even when I don't speak in public I talk to you privately, so where is all the "us" stuff coming from? All the conversations we've had where we talked about the issues, complained about various things, actually agreed on things-- what were those then? If I did speak on the MB would you even notice? *lol* Last I heard you were boycotting it. I post on my blog, which I've made public, talking about my thoughts and feelings-- and this is what I get. Is it any wonder I don't say more? My plotting is primarily RP related. Not much else within my range at the moment. In the future, who knows?

I did not post intend for my post to come across as me trying to be anything other than what I am. Because I'm not. I'm me, like or not, take it or leave it. I can't be like you, handle things like you... On one hand you tell me my personality balances yours-- that I'm the calm half of things. But then... it seems to bother you sometimes. I don't know how else to explain myself or what motivates me. My story is still being written, and it may never be finished. Consider me a work in progress.

As for hiding things... What do I have to hide? What have I hidden from you? Hell, I had one big secret once upon a time and let it go. Since then... what else is there?