Realization...

I am amazed to find myself posting here again so soon but I feel that I must. Recently I have been questioning myself-- who I am, what I am, my purpose. I sought affirmation. I stood back and took a good, hard look at myself. I judged myself lacking and unworthy. I felt that I was not all I could be, that in some aspects I have tried too hard, in others perhaps not hard enough. I worried that my motivation, my reasons for doing and feeling were wrong or had become somehow lost to me.

Then this morning I received a letter that truly spoke to something within and forced me to look directly at the answer that was already right in front of my face. It was a true revelation, and "aha moment," if you will. Now... I understand. The answer lies before me as if written in the stars themselves:

That alone means more than I can possibly put into words, and it is the truest definition of my being.

Being Creide means walking in shadows for comfort but never to hide from danger. Being Creide means desiring safety but not fearing death. Being Creide means having the will to make the ultimate sacrifice, doing anything and everything witin my power to protect my precious person.

Being Creide means truly trusting only those who have earned that honor.

It is laughing in the face of hardship, it is standing firm in my convictions. It is being a friend when there is a need, and a comrade in times of strife. It is placing honesty and loyalty above all else, and living by my own code of honor. It is saying something silly for a laugh, or something profound for thought. It is living to live, loving with my entire being and never backing down from my chosen fight.

Perhaps most importantly, being Creide means not allowing my actions or choices alone to define me.

Like me, love me, hate me, ignore me.
No matter what your choice, I have made mine. I choose... to be me.