Dreaming, Remembering...

I dreamed last night... of Audric. It seems like an eternity since we last spoke, though it has been only a couple of years. My unlife has taken such a drastic turn though, that at times I wonder if I am even truly the same person. What would he think of what I am doing? Would he approve? Does he somehow know?

The oddest memories come back to me now. I clearly recall our first meeting-- one of the most terrifying moments of my life. To simply be near him was to sense the inherent strength within. He was incredibly powerful and could easily have killed me, yet he did not. Lord Audric saw something within me that I fear I may have lost.

I will never be sure what made me agree to go with him, but I have never regretted that decision. It has caused me pain, yes, and on some level humiliation... but at the same time my lord and guardian gave me far more than I could ever have achieved otherwise, far more than I ever deserved.

Of course, it did not last and it is my own fault. I made the choice to go against his will. It hurts now to think of it, of betraying his trust not once, but twice. Yet I felt myself just. I had no choice really. He coddled me, spoiled me, forbid me to step beyond the boundaries of his protection-- and I could not live like that. He taught me how to defend and how to attack... in battle with humans I excelled and commanded the field.

However, my lord failed to prepare me for more challenging opponents. Vampires. His wife and daughter had been killed by them and as a result his despised his own kind. Our kind. To him I was the daughter he should have been able to save, sheltered and kept close. Lord Audric sought to protect me, and it proved my downfall.

I was captured by his greatest foe, and that was simply the first domino to fall, setting off a chain of events that led to my expulsion and arrival in the city. Even as I write, long-healed wounds seem to reopen; the pain is as fresh today as it was those many years ago.

One day-- one day I will tell the story in full. For now... my sorrow overwhelms me and is too great.