Happy, Sad, In Between

Happy news! Have a new reason to celebrate-- a worthy addition to my line. Finally made my adoption of Bug... er, Cricket, official. Yeah, having a proud sire moment here. *strutting CBK-style* She is a real sweetheart and since she wants to map out our family... well, I will simply wish her luck there. *snicker* At least she is not adding to the confusion and tangled web of branches on the old tree-- her companion Disa is not related to us. Ah, how well I remember when both were trainees under my whip-- er, wing...

Moving along to the sad bit... last night CBK and I met with the priest. Things... did not go well. Really. So... for right now things have been postponed. Not that we are giving up, just trying to find a better, safer way of doing things. Thought about contacting Audric again, but I doubt he knows more than he has told me or that he would feel moved to offer more help anyway. Which leaves me with no idea where else to find information. Or close enough. Not going to even try to explain that.

Ironically, I find myself wondering why nothing in unlife can ever be simple and straightforward-- love, politics, even simple hunting has led to complexities. Sort of on that topic, before I get back to my original track there... I spoke with What The tonight. The whole auction thing... well, I am really glad that it worked out so well for most of those involved and that the overall experience was fun. For me though, this whole situation is just impossible. The whole thing has been too pointless and stressful-- it killed the fun for me. I... hate being caught in the middle of a personal battle, hate having to choose my words so carefully, hate conflict without reason. Yeah, ultimate devotee of Ares, lover of war and bloodlust, but in truth I am more like Athena, seeking reason and wisdom before bloodshed and angry words. I doubt I could honestly say I even harbor ill will toward more than one or two vamps on a personal level, simply is not in my nature. Even if I do not make friends with all those I meet, neither do I seek to make enemies.

I guess that is one reason I have avoided the public boards for so long. It disgusts me to know there are so many who take up personal vendettas over absolutely nothing. Simply seeing a clan name in a signature line seems to be enough for some to make snap judgements. Incredibly ignorant, something I would expect from humans, but my own kind? Pathetic. In my view clan is like extended family. Sure, I have a connection with them and am a part of them... but some of us are as different as night and day. We do not always agree or see eye to eye, believe me. Each of us has a seperate opinion and I have no desire to be lumped under one heading nor do I wish for my individual actions or words to be viewed as those of the whole.

Now that I have completely and totally strayed from my original focus, bear with me while I jump back to it, touching on the final item in my title.

In between is really too vague a term. More of an emotionless, blank sort of space than anything. So much is happening in certain areas of my little world that at times I feel... almost removed from everything else. The broad categories of things that once bothered or worried me have become so many minutiae, while more narrow, personal concerns claim the majority of my attention. This introspection is beneficial, I think. Yet rather bothersome too. I find myself a bit more... unfocused in some areas, having to put forth actual effort to stay on top of things and spend more time than ever on my duties. Maybe that is a good thing in itself; Ares knows I could use something to take my mind off my worries...