Observations and Obstacles
Thursday, October 28, 2004
The task handed to me by the Warden is that of seeing the trainees safely to the machinist Kathiana spoke of and seeking out any knowledge or clues he may have as to the identity of those that stalk us. I decided to take every possible precaution, arming myself and the accompanying loyalist regiment well. Each human is assigned to a specific vamp; any would willingly die for their charge.
Following our amazing victory over the mob, spirits in our little group are running higher than they should be. They have had too much time to relax and put themselves at ease. I could see it when I briefed them-- the fear that once threatened to consume them is now nothing but a dying ember. In the thrill of victory is it easy to forget how much luck was involved, or how much careful planning. They did not see the archers on the wall or witness the horror of their Warden possessed. Nor did they see him lying helpless, bleeding profusely and speaking with Death.
I saw all of this, and I have seen more. I wish that I could tell them of the dread which fills me, the dark cloud I feel descending over all of us. Yet I cannot even explain it to myself. I simply know. I can feel it in the air and taste it on the wind-- something terrible is coming for us and this time we may not have luck on our side. For every human we managed to kill in the battle, there exist two more that would do anything to end our reign, even should it mean sacrificing their own lives and freedoms. They may fear us, but they do not sleep.
For the moment I can only wait for whatever the machinist has to offer. I doubt somehow that any hidden secrets will buy us time or opportunity. Yet it is something to do, something that for only a moment may take my mind from the more pressing question-- the location of my companion.
How strange it is that one who holds a piece of my very heart and soul within him should vanish from my sight so easily... How much stranger that the one being I trust more than any other is the one who hides the most secrets from me. Something feels terribly wrong. It felt wrong before he left and feels worse now. There was a reason for his silence, I know it. He went to seek something and I fear for him should he find it. Wherever he is, I am with him and I can pray only for his safe return.
Pray... What an odd thing from the lips of a vampire. They say we are accursed, that we are monsters roaming the night in eternal damnation. Is a lion evil because it must kill in order to subsist? Despite the sordid life of shadows we must lead in order to survive, we are... very like humans. Colder, harder, yes-- as any must be to endure unending days. Yet we bleed, we hope, we love-- we may even be killed. I do not think my soul was lost in changing, so in some way it seems right that some remnant of my human faith must remain.
And right now, a little bit of faith sounds better than a lot of fear.
Next Stage... Secrets & Powers
Thursday, October 14, 2004
A great deal is happening right now.
The battle is won though all signs point to a far greater one to come. Everyone has had time to rest and recuperate-- just in time for more adventure. Oneirus is taking off on some new venture to parts unknown, AQel is missing-- and I am about to take the trainees out on my own.
We have a minor mission, or at least I hope it winds up being minor. We don't need any more problems or wounds to deal with. I am well aware that there is no telling what we may encounter. Indeed, I am hesitant to go. I dread it and think it is hardly any better than lying in wait for them to strike again. The last time we followed a lead, it almost ended in death for us all. I hate that we even took time to rest at all, but it was a dire need. I may look better, but my soul-- if vamps have souls-- is weary.
While I should have been relaxing, allowing my mind to wander, I was instead staring at the walls, worrying about what new weapon the Hunters were devising while we defenseless. I begin to wonder what each moment may bring, whether or not any of us will survive this thing. And if so-- in what condition? Some wounds cut deeper than any sword and take far longer to heal. Things could well have gone a different way in the attack on our keep. If it were not for careful planning and the help loyalists, many of whom died, we would all have died a death of no return. And now I am faced with leading others into this, whatever this may be. Another explosion may await us, or more Holy Water, or perhaps nothing at all. If given the chance, I would have fought against this mission, as long and loud as necessary. However, though the Warden kindly veiled his words, my orders were made more than clear to me.
The Warden. Oneirus. My companion, my confidante... He is so many things to me, yet I am forced once again to set all feelings aside. There are secrets between us. There always have been of course, as any two beings must have regardless of their bond. But this is something different. For the first time since our companionship began, Oneirus has chosen to go his own way and pointedly kept silent about his plans. The reason is unclear-- perhaps because he knows I will worry, or maybe it is truly a task for one, something he must do alone. My heart fights against other reasons, darker ones. I must simply trust him.
But how can I trust him when I have my own secrets? Small things perhaps, yet enough to cast doubt in his mind should he but notice them. My reasons are my own and I owe an explanation to none. Ironic really, that two such private vampires should join together, and so successfully. Though I possibly know him better than almost anyone else, there is much I may never know about him. Just as there are things he may never discover about my existence, both past and present... In the end we must continue on as we always have. Sharing what we may, enjoying the comfort of one another's company, and ultimately respecting the silences.
Outside the Asylum, unlife is as busy as ever. The RP is off to a slow, but interesting start. Oneirus, CBK and I are looking into the case of the demonic barrel, Addah should be making an entrance soon, and View is posting his story. Why he was worried about his writing skills I'll never know, cause we're all eagerly waiting for the next chapter.
I am working my way through powers with a vengeance. The last time I posted I think I was just finishing up Locate 1. I've also snagged Stamina 3, Locate 1 , Shadows 2 and Telepathy 1. My darlin' companion keeps pushing me to get Surprise... no, actually laughing at me because I don't already have it. *grumble* So I suppose that once I finish Celerity 3, aka Hell, that will be my next goal. After that it should be easy to finish up. Pretty much shocked me to hear O. mention the other day that soon I'll be fully-powered. Wow... still surprises me to say that. Way back in ancient times, before I came to the clan I felt like I would never get there. Guess time really does fly when you take things a step at a time.
New Horizons... Unplanned Editorial
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Well, Oneirus and I are setting out upon yet another new venture. Our new RP home has already met with questions, but frankly I see no reason for concern. Had a nice chat with AQel about it the other day and explained my views. So... that's really about it. It is not in my nature to worry about such things. TVRP exists for the sole purpose of making us happy. Writing, creating stories from wild ideas, perhaps finally doing a real adventure starring the Fearsome Four-- these are the things that most please us, therefore... these are the things we will do. *lol*
All of the OOC junk and endless discussions about every little thing that happens within the game are fine and well in their place. However, they make it rather hard to follow a storyline. Recent events in VADA are a prime example of the problems that arise when humans enter vampire territory. Stories should have their place as well. When the time came for me to finally publish part of my own story, I was unable to share it with my clanmates due to the ongoing war. And let us be frank and realistic here-- the majority of them do not take time to read files. If it is not actually posted, nobody sees it. Even then things are often overlooked. Or maybe they just don't care... Be that as it may, if we had an RP board it would not have been a problem. Those needing a reprieve from war could have escaped to it and enjoyed a human-free, war-free existence before returning to the eternal lists of blood won and lost.
What I fail to understand is why an RP hall should be such an issue at all. This is the very same idea that was posed to the MB just a couple of months ago. At the time, a few members of the clan found fault with it and it was shot down. That is something else that made no sense to me. If they had a problem with another board... nobody was holding HW to their heads and forcing them to join! We Heorotians were big enough to walk away from RVRC; these members should be mature enough to keep their negativity to themselves and allow others to choose freely. None of this "oh no not another board to keep up with" garbage. It was just plain selfish for them to deny others the opportunity to express themselves.
I cannot even say for sure that the majority felt that way as, to my recollection, there was no poll done to ascertain individual opinions. Come to think of it, I think I shall suggest that next time an issue comes up. Yes, polls are irritating, but they do have their use-- for one thing, the quiet members have equal chance of getting their vote heard. Which could possibly have made all the difference here. Why? Somehow it seemed like the same handful that finds fault with pretty much anything that might bring about change-- *gasp* heaven forbid-- complained more loudly than anyone else could ever hope to support it and effectively drowned out anything positive that may have been said.
In my view this new creation, this brainchild of the Big O. and his faithful, yet still somehow sane companion, may simply be viewed as a tiny ripple in a big pond-- it does not necessarily reach the whole, or make much of a change-- but it does prevent stagnation.
